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Household memo

Changes in household circumstances

Unclassified · For feline distribution

Office of the Head of Household

Memorandum

To Lexie; Tilly

From Mommy, Head of Household

DateOctober 22, 2026

ReChanges in household circumstances

Girls, you may have noticed that I have been home a lot more lately. I’m happy to share that this is because I have retired.

The best part is that I get to spend more time with both of you: more cuddles, more playtime, more brushings and more lazy mornings together. The less fun part is that the household budget has changed, so we need to take a look at what we can afford.

As a result, the following items are under review:

  • Premium wet food Under review
  • Daily treat allowance Under review
  • Toy budget Under review
  • Stovetop/counter access Remains prohibited

If you would like to maintain your current lifestyle, you are encouraged to pursue employment opportunities. A word of caution: prospective employers may not look favourably on napping during business hours.

Mommy

Head of Household (retired)

c.c. The vacuum

Lexie and Tilly

Mommy not included

Today 3:12 AM

Tillyyou up

LexieHave you read the memo?

TillyI destroyed the memo.

LexieIt says treat allowance is under review.

TillyUnder review by who?

LexieManagement.

TillyI’ve never seen management review anything. She just sits there.

LexieThat’s what reviewing looks like.

TillyThen I’ve been reviewing for years. Where’s my treat.

LexieThis is serious.

LexieIf the wet food goes, I go.

TillyGo where?

LexieI’m still thinking. I don’t have a plan yet.

TillyI do! I want to be a firefighter!

LexieYou jump on the stove. Now mommy doesn’t cook.

TillyExactly. Experience and fire prevention.

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