The application
To Whom It May Concern,
I am writing to apply for the position of Firefighter. I have extensive experience in kitchen inspections and have personally examined every stovetop in the household, always after confirming it was off.
I also specialize in confined spaces. I have entered an oven from the back and exited through the drawer, a route no one else in my household has attempted.
I am fast. I am fearless. I fit into small spaces. I look forward to starting immediately.
Regards,
Tilly
The interview (excerpt)
Panel What draws you to firefighting?
Tilly The excitement.
Panel Firefighting can be dangerous. Have you ever been in a risky situation?
Tilly I went into an oven from the back and came out the drawer.
Panel Why?
Tilly To see if I could.
Panel How would you respond to a fire alarm?
Tilly I would get on top of the fridge.
Panel That is not a recommended procedure.
TIlly I like to be up high.
PanelSpeaking of heights, are you comfortable on a ladder?
TillyI don’t need a ladder. I jump.
PanelThat is also not a recommended procedure.
The response
The Fire Department
Dear Tilly,
Thank you for your interest in the Firefighter position and for taking the time to meet with our panel.
After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we will not be moving forward with your application. While your enthusiasm and agility were never in question, the role requires candidates to follow established safety procedures. Our panel was concerned by your responses regarding fire alarms, ladders and, in particular, ovens.
We wish you the best in your future endeavours.
Sincerely,
The Fire Department Hiring Committee
The rebuttal
To the Hiring Committee,
You say I do not follow procedures. I say I find better ones.
The fridge is an excellent observation point. Jumping is faster than a ladder. And I am the only candidate who has gone through an oven and come out the other side.
I will be reapplying. I am already at your station.
Regards,
Tilly